A Brain Resistant to Change: Why New Habits Take Time

Chapter Four of Journey Back to Health is titled A Brain Resistant to Change, and this chapter builds directly on what we discussed last week…the energy required to form new habits. This week, the focus shifts to understanding what we’re actually trying to change and why habit-building often feels harder than we expect.

When we talk about habit change, we often think it’s about willpower or discipline. But the truth is, it’s not just about wanting something badly enough. Habit change requires physical energy, mental focus, time, and intention.

In this chapter, I reference one of my favorite books, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. That book changed the trajectory of my life because it helped me understand the research behind habit formation. We often hear that it takes 20 to 60 days to build a habit, but when we’re trying to become a different version of ourselves, we’re rarely changing just one habit.

Right now, I’m working to change how I eat and how I feel around food (especially during breakfast and lunch). For most of my life, my brain has been wired to avoid food early in the day and rely on adrenaline to function. That system looks productive on the outside, but it’s rooted in fight-or-flight rather than rest and digest.

If I want to make better decisions and move more slowly, I need enough calories to support that. That means I’m not just changing one habit, I am changing several patterns at once.

One of the action steps in Chapter Four is to write out the kind of person you want to be and the habits that person has. The next step is prioritization. We can’t work on everything at the same time. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, we can only build one new habit at once.

That realization has been humbling for me. I want to eat breakfast consistently, rebuild my exercise routine, reduce stress, and feel better in my body. But when I break it down, each of those goals includes multiple habits and unlearning old patterns.

Over the weekend, I had a moment that reminded me how much grace this process requires. I woke up emotionally heightened and couldn’t keep my green drink down. It felt like failure. Even this morning, eating peanut butter toast felt harder when stress was present.

If you’ve been following this journey, we’ve only been working on these habits for about five weeks. That’s not enough time to undo patterns that have existed for decades. When I factor in that I’m unlearning before I can relearn, the timeline becomes much longer and that’s okay.

This chapter encourages setting reminders so you don’t rely on memory alone. Add habits to your phone, planner, or daily to-do list. Prepare yourself so you’re not constantly battling old patterns.

Another important step is reward. Habit-building is hard. Acknowledge yourself. Celebrate small wins. Give yourself encouragement. Positive reinforcement matters.

This work is slow. It’s messy. And it’s vulnerable to share in real time. But if I’m asking you to show up for yourself, I need to show up honestly too.

You are doing something hard. You deserve grace, nourishment, rest, and time exactly where you are.